The Big 3-4

I'm writing this post on the eve of my thirty-fourth birthday, though you're likely reading it after the day has arrived.

This birthday is not going down easily. It tastes bitter and acidic.

When I turned 30, I thought I had come to terms with getting older. It wasn't that big of a deal, I thought. Then again, I actually remember 29 being pretty difficult to swallow. Which I suppose is accurate in light of this year's birthday reaction. I seem to be more affected by the year leading up to the "big ones" than I am by the big ones themselves.

It's kind of like being at an amusement park and waiting in line for the scariest ride. The whole time you're in line the anticipation and anxiety builds, your stomach flip-flops, and your palms sweat. Your heart races as they harness you into your seat. The ride starts and you feel light-headed.

But then you laugh.

And scream.

And raise your hands with abandon.

And when it's all over, you say, "Well that wasn't so bad now, was it? It was actually kind of fun." Yet the next time you go to an amusement park and get in line for that ride, your body reacts the same way. Your mind can't override the anxiety with the reality that it's never as bad as we think it will be.

That's where I am now. In line, anticipating the arrival of 35 and all the turbulence, flips, and vertical drops of possible failures, disappointments, and age-related defects that I might experience when I get there.

Let's hope a year from now I can say, "Well that wasn't so bad now, was it?"

Lost: Blogging Mojo

I remember days, back when I first started blogging, that I couldn't wait to write up a post. Everything seemed like perfect blog fodder. I had more post ideas than I knew what to do with.

Over the last year (maybe more), I've found that nothing seems to strike me as interesting enough for a blog post. I've lost my blogging mojo and I can't seem to get it back. Maybe my plate is just too full. Maybe the season is over for this blog. Or maybe I just need to find my blogging groove again. Either way, I appreciate those readers who have stuck with me over the years, who continue to comment and provide encouragement when I need it.

Maybe 2010 will be the year I find my blogging mojo (and my voice) again.

2009 in Review

In reading blogs and talking to friends and family, I'm finding that there's a lot of reflection going on as 2009 comes to a close. That's not unusual, but I haven't really thought much about 2009 and its events and accomplishments. Instead, I've been looking forward to 2010 and setting some very specific goals for realizing my dreams. I don't want to let 2009 go by without taking some time to reflect on what I've accomplished and experienced, though, so I decided to continue the tradition of completing my annual Year-End Meme. (I took the reflection a little further and read through my 2007 and 2008 year-end posts, too.)

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

I traveled to Arizona, a first which provided several other firsts: I saw my first cactus; visited the Grand Canyon, Sedona, the Painted Desert and the Petrified forest, as well as several other interesting places; and I got a tattoo while I was there. I also rode on a motorcycle for the first time, played my first hand of black jack at a casino, saw Niagara Falls and sat in the studio audience of a television show (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon).

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I made some significant progress on my 101 Things in 1001 Days list in 2009. As for 2010, I'm not a resolution maker, but I am setting some serious goals for 2010.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, several friends and family members had babies this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit?

Canada

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

More freelance clients (and therefore income), more mindfulness, more time practicing yoga, and more time with my sisters and my girlfriends. I miss my girls' nights!

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

November 26th - The first time I hosted Thanksgiving in my house.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

That's a really good question. I'm not feeling really good about my accomplishments in 2009. I feel like I was so busy all year and it went by so fast, but I don't feel like I have much to show for all that busy-ness.

I suppose that completing a book proposal for a client was a pretty big achievement. I'm going to go with that.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not getting myself into a regular exercise routine again.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I had an odd rash all over my body that turned out to be a fungal skin infection. Not fun. And don't ask me how I got it because I still have no idea.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A beautiful set of bookends in Arizona and a table and chairs set for my dining room

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I can't think of anyone in particular...

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Same here. (Maybe I'm a bit too self-centered to answer these two questions???)

14. Where did most of your money go?

Into my house, savings account and 401K.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Building my writing and editing business in preparation for full-time freelance.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

(a) happier; (b) neither...I've managed somehow to maintain my weight this year, although that's not necessarily a good thing; (c) richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Yoga, practicing mindfulness, traveling, submitting my work, and exercising. I could always write and read more, too.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Watching television (yet again this year, although I did manage to go TV-less at least one night a week); thinking I was too busy to enjoy things I love

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I spent most of the day with my dad watching Bones reruns, visited my Grampy in the hospital, then had a lobster and shrimp dinner with my dad. During the week of Christmas I visited with friends and family, laughing, baking and enjoying their company.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

I fell (more) in love with My Love. :)

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Lost

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No. I don't hate.

24. What was the best book you read?

Nonfiction - A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink

Fiction - The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I didn't do much musical exploration in 2009...

26. What did you want and get?

More focus on my goals and dreams and a clear plan for getting where I want to go.

27. What did you want and not get?

Central air conditioning, a refinished basement, a new roof and a renovated kitchen

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

I can't say I've seen one that absolutely blew me away, but I really liked My Sister's Keeper and I'm looking forward to seeing Sherlock Holmes this week.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 33 and I had a nice dinner at Olive Garden with My Love. I also celebrated a little late when I headed out to Arizona to visit my sister. doing mundane tasks.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

The year went by a little too quickly for my taste, so I think the thing that would have made it more satisfying is if I had slowed down to smell the roses a little more or at least worked on being less busy and more productive.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

I upped the trendiness factor this year by getting some new specs. Other than that, I'd say my fashion concept remained the same: casual yet professional.

32. What kept you sane?

Reading, writing and spending time with family and friends. And plenty of laughter.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Simon Baker

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The health care debate

35. Who did you miss?

The same people I miss every year: friends who live out of state; my sister; my mom and the rest of my family in NY; and even girlfriends in the area that I don't get to see nearly enough.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I met a lot of new people in 2009, especially while I was out in Arizona, but I think I would have to go with the literary agent I met at a writing conference. She's become a friend and valuable resource as I pursue my writing dreams.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

That dreams won't come true if you don't spend time pursuing them.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I can't think of any that apply, honestly.

How do you feel about 2009? Did you do all that you wanted to do? Was it a good year? Are you ready for 2010?

TBR Challenge 2010 - The Do Over

It's time for the TBR (To Be Read) Challenge again. I wasn't very good at reviewing the books I read for the challenge, and I didn't update on my progress much throughout the year, but that's mostly because I was a bit embarrassed by my lack of progress.

I failed to check many books off my TBR List in 2009. Although I did read almost 2 dozen books, the majority of them didn't come from that TBR pile that's been collecting dust. Instead, I was buying books at one of my favorite second-hand bookstores or getting them through paperbackswap.com.

I did manage to read 3 of the 12 books off my main 2009 challenge list and 3 off my alternates list. In addition to my TBR books, I read through a number of books by new or new-to-me authors, did some research for my own writing by reading several best-selling memoirs and essay collections, and learned something new by reading a few business and self-improvement books (one of my favorites was A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink).

Having joined Paperback Swap, my TBR list is growing exponentially. Thankfully, I've been able to share some of the books that I've read but were gathering dust on the shelves in order to make room for new additions. It's hard for me to part with my books, but because bookshelf real estate is extremely valuable in my house, I've had to make some sacrifices. Besides, I love sharing books with friends, so why not share them with strangers who might enjoy them, as well?

Sadly, my TBR List for 2010 looks much like my TBR list for 2009. I'm starting to think that if I haven't read them by now they just might not be catching my interest enough, but I'm going to give it a try again. There is, after all, only so much time in a year--and there are SO many books to read. Even if I keep up my reading pace of 2009 and only read books from my TBR list, I won't make it through all of these titles. I plan to do my best, though.

2010 TBR List

1. I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb


2. The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd


3. A Hand to Guide Me by Denzel Washington


4. Writing Your Life by Lou Willett Stanek


5. Hollywood Worldviews by Brian Godawa


6. Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott


7. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini


8. Size 12 is Not Fat by Meg Cabot (Finished 1/17/10)
   


9. Size 14 is Not Fat Either by Meg Cabot


10. Big Boned by Meg Cabot


11. American Girls About Town (Finished 2/15/10)


12. Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner

Alternates:

1. The Ha-Ha by David King


2. Writing Articles from the Heart by Marjorie Holmes


3. Writing Life Stories by Bill Roorbach


4. Trudy's Promise by Marcia Preston


5. Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult (Finished 1/30/10)


6. The Well-Fed Writer by Peter Bowerman


7. The Amateur Marriage by Anne Tyler


8. The Girl Who Stopped Swimming by Joshilyn Jackson


9. Ghosts of War by Ryan Smithson (Finished 2/21/10)
   


10. Lisey's Story by Stephen King


11. The School of Essential Ingredients by Erica Bauermeister


12. Pigs in Heaven by Barbara Kingsolver

I'll try to keep you posted on my progress and let you know if any of these are worth recommending. If you want to join the challenge, visit the official challenge site and sign up. Here's to a year of reading!

Have you read any of these books? Any suggestions on where I should start?

Sarah's Gift

Sarah collapsed back on the bed, exhausted from all the pushing and panting. Finally, she thought, and closed her eyes. Even the high-pitched, frantic sounds of her baby's cries were a relief.

Before the exhaustion could engulf her, the nurse midwife who had held Sarah's right hand through the delivery brought the tiny baby boy to her, wrapped tightly in a soft blanket. As soon as Sarah took him, pulling him to her like a magnet, he stopped crying and relaxed against her chest. She knew exactly what he was feeling--the calm after the storm, the satisfaction of completing a long, arduous journey.

"He's so beautiful, just like you," Steve said, breaking the spell. Still grasping her left hand, he bent over her to first kiss Sam's forehead and then hers. Sarah smiled at Steve and nodded almost imperceptibly. Beautiful...she had never seen beauty like this.

They were a family now. After all their trying and trying, they were finally a family. No more shots and multi-packs of pregnancy tests waiting to be taken. Here Sam was, wrapped up in her arms like a gift she had been anticipating all her life.

And baby makes three...

---

This is my response to the prompt, Wrapped, at Creativity Corner, a new series of creativity prompts at Write Out Loud. If you'd like to join in, write your own response to the prompt and then head over to Write Out Loud and leave a link in the Wrapped comments.

Recommended Reading - A Few Favorites of 2009

I've been plowing through books this year. What with my goal to read 50 books for my 101 Things in 1001 Days and my recent membership to paperbackswap.com*, I have plenty of motivation to read, read, read. I've read 20 books in 2009 and I'm on target to finish my 21st by January 1st. I'm also still listening to audio books during my commute. While I don't count them as official "reads", I've listened to at least 20 audio books, as well.

In light of all this reading, and just in time for the gift-giving rush, I thought I'd share some recommendations for a few of my favorite reads of 2009**.

Fiction

Still Life with Husband by Lauren Fox

If you are a fan of chick lit but are tired of the same old story, or if you aren't really a fan of chick lit at all, I'd highly recommend this book. It's a story about fidelity and the consequences of our choices that's told in a real, no-holds-barred voice. Funny, honest, heartbreaking and inspiring, with a dose of reality that most chick lit novels seem to avoid, Still Life with Husband was one of my top 5 favorite books this year.

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

I may be one of the few people who hadn't read this by the time the movie came out this year. And there may not be anyone out there who hasn't read it since (or wants to). But if there is someone out there who, for whatever reason, hasn't picked up this book, they should. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I hear it's different. It would have to be. My biggest concern before reading TTTW was that I wouldn't be able to follow all the time jumping, but Niffenegger does a really good job of making the time periods as clear as possible throughout the book. After just a few pages, I had gotten into the groove and read this one in about three days. It was sappy in places, and at some points I wondered why anyone would choose to marry someone who jumped through time, but in the end I felt the story was powerful and well-written.

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford

I especially enjoy books about other cultures and the nerd in me loves to learn new things even when I'm reading fiction. This novel delivers on both fronts and weaves a moving story at the same time. In it, a young Chinese boy falls in love with a Japanese classmate in Seattle during World War II, which affects the man he becomes in both expected and surprising ways. It's not action-packed, but it's a thoughtful and moving narrative that kept me turning the pages to the very end.

Change of Heart: A Novel by Jodi Picoult

As I've mentioned a few times before, I'm a huge fan of Picoult's writing. So much so that I often read several of her books back-to-back without a break. After a recent stint like that, I've decided that I have to read another author in between her books from now on. I love her stories and how she delivers them, but sometimes they become a little too formulaic. That being said, Change of Heart (the book I read first during the aforementioned stint) was one of my favorite Picoult's to date. You can read a much better review of it at my 101 Things blog.

Nonfiction

A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future by Daniel Pink

I used to think I had managed to establish a pretty good balance between left-brained, analytical-type thinking and right-brained, creative-type problem solving. After reading this book, I had to think again. Pink offers some well-known and not-so-well-known reasons why right-brained thinking is on the rise (or should be) in the business world and then goes one step further to offer up suggestions and activities that can help even the most left-brained thinker exercise her right brain. Whether you are already the creative type or could use some practice putting your right-brain to work, this book is an easy, interesting and useful read.

When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

If you're looking for humor writing at its best, Sedaris is your man. His essay collections never fail to leave me laughing out loud (which can be embarrassing if you're sitting in Starbucks, FYI). This is his newest essay collection, and while it wasn't his best, it wasn't bad by any means. If you haven't read any of his stuff, I'd recommend starting with Me Talk Pretty One Day or Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim to get a feel for his style and voice. These are great audio books, as well. Sedaris reads his own stuff and hearing him tell these stories is even funnier than reading them.

First, Break All the Rules: What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently by Marcus Cunningham and Curt Coffman

After being promoted to a management position late in 2008, and almost immediately having this book recommended, I borrowed a copy from our corporate library and got to work reading. Only it wasn't really work. Expecting a dry, instructional text on how to be a better manager, I was pleasantly surprised by this easy read. The voice was authoritative yet conversational and the examples and case studies the authors used demonstrated effective management techniques--and why typical management strategies don't work.

If you have already read any of these books, I'd love to hear what you thought of them. And if you haven't, I suggest you go out and buy, borrow or swap a few (for yourself or someone else).

Disclaimers:
* If you join Paperback Swap using the referral link above I'll get an extra book credit for referring you. Whether you use me as a referral or not, my nickname is writingherlife. If you join, buddy me!

** Most of the book links provided here use my Amazon Associate account and I will earn a teeny tiny profit if you order the books using these links.

Get It While It's Green

If you're a regular reader around here, you know I'm working on living a greener life in whatever ways I can. That's why I couldn't wait to enter my friend Erin's third Go Green Giveaway over at The Mother Load. She's giving a way a set of reusable produce bags to go along with those reusable grocery totes I know you're all carrying around with you these days.

If you'd like to get in on the fun and enter to win some great products to help you live a little greener, head over there now.

Rescued Dreams

Sitting in my over-sized beanbag chair in the middle of my dorm room, I considered my options. My pre-med adviser had just given me permission to change my mind, a prospect that was filling me with anxiety. "Not everyone who gets through this program goes on to become a doctor. And that's not always because they aren't capable," he said. "Medical school is a lot of work, and getting there is only the beginning. If you aren't sure, maybe you should take some time to think about other possibilities."

So that's what I was doing. Flipping through catalogs for graduate programs for teachers, nurses and physicians' assistants, considering an application for Teach for America, imagining myself as something, anything, other than a doctor. This wasn't easy considering I'd been pursuing this singular goal since I was a freshman in high school. Now I found myself wondering what else I might be good at. Wondering if medical school was really where I wanted to go next.

When the time came, and I still hadn't decided what my next step should be, I passed on taking the MCAT and took the GRE instead, just in case graduate school found its way into my future. By graduation, there was still no clear plan laid out before me. While my classmates were preparing for Masters and Doctorate programs or the beginnings of their careers, I was planning to work at a jewelry shop for the summer. Not exactly a solid career choice, but it would pay the bills until I could find something that suited me better.

I wondered every day if I had made a mistake.

It took a while, but eventually that conversation in my adviser's office returned to my memory and I realized I was doing exactly what he had suggested. The fear of having made the wrong choice remained, but it started to mingle with the excitement of opportunity. With no plans, no clear goals, I was free to explore my dreams. I had been rescued from the responsibility of pursuing a goal that no longer fit who I had become. Who would I be from this moment on? What profession would make me happiest? How did I want to be remembered in this world?

I had the opportunity to choose my destiny and I would enjoy the process of making it a reality--whatever it might be.

---

This is my response to the prompt, Rescue, at Creativity Corner, a new series of creativity prompts at Write Out Loud. If you'd like to join in, write your own response to the prompt and then head over to Write Out Loud and leave a link in the Rescue comments.

Recipe: A Chipotle Twist on Chili

A little more than a month ago, I ordered Fresh From the Vegetarian Slow Cooker to expand my vegetarian dish repertoire and make better use of my slow cooker.

The first recipe I decided to make was Chipotle-Kissed Red Bean and Sweet Potato Chili. It's the only recipe I've tried so far, and I've made it twice--it's THAT good. I could eat this chili everyday for the entire comfort-food season and be totally happy.

I made a few adjustments, because the first time I made it I found it to be more like soup than like chili. I like my chili chunky and thick. Here's the version I created.

Ingredients

1 TBSP olive oil
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
1 medium red bell pepper, chopped
1 large clove garlic, minced or pressed
1 TBSP chili powder
1 1/2 lb sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2" pieces
2 14.5-oz can diced tomatoes
1 cup fresh or frozen peas
1 15-oz can dark red kidney beans
1 15-oz can white kidney (cannellini) beans (or other favorite bean)
1 1/2 cups water
salt to taste
1 canned chipole chili in adobo sauce (or to taste), finely chopped

Instructions

In a large skillet, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the onion, bell pepper and garlic and cook, stirring, until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in the chili powder and cook for about a minute. Add the sweet potatoes and stir to coat with spices. (I did this step the night before and then put the "starters" in the refrigerator over night. In the morning I continued with the following step.)

Transfer to a 4- to 6-quart slow cooker. Add the tomatoes, peas, beans and water. Season with salt, cover and cook on Low for 6 to 8 hours.

Before serving, stir in the chipotle pepper and taste to adjust seasoning. Serve with crackers or corn bread.

Recipe: Bean and Chard Stuffed Acorn Squash

I've been subscribing to Eating Well magazine for almost a year now and I've found at least one awesome recipe in each issue. This one came to my attention at the perfect time: I had a bunch of chard and three acorn squash that needed to be used as soon as possible.

While I loved the flavor of the dish, I cooked it one night and ate it as leftovers for the rest of the week. I have to admit that it would probably have been better immediately out of the oven, because they seemed a little dry the next day. You might want to keep that in mind and make adjustments accordingly.

Ingredients

2 medium acorn squash, halved, seeds removed
1 tsp plus 2 TBSP olive oil, divided
1/2 tsp salt, divided
1/2 tsp pepper, divided
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 TBSP water
1 TBSP tomato paste
8 cups chopped chard leaves
1 15-oz can white beans, drained and rinsed
1/4 cup chopped kalamata olives
1/3 cup coarse dry whole-wheat breadcrumbs
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Instructions

Lay squash halves in a 9x13 microwave-safe baking dish, cut sides up. (If they stand on their own, you can slice a thin piece off the bottom so that they do.) Brush the insides of with 1 tsp oil and sprinkle with 1/4 tsp each salt and pepper. Cover with plastic wrap and microwave on High until the squash is fork tender, about 12 minutes.

In the meantime, heat 1 TBSP oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onion and cook, stirring, until it starts to brown, about 3 minutes. Add garlic and cook stirring for another minute. Add water and tomato paste, along with the remaining salt and pepper. Stir in chard, cover and cook until tender, about 5 minutes. Add the white beans and olives and stir, cooking until heated through, about 2 minutes more. Remove from the heat.

Preheat the broiler (I used the oven, 350 degrees).

Mix the breadcrumbs, Parmesan and 1 TBSP oil in a small bowl. Fill each squash half with about a cup of the chard mix. Sprinkle with the breadcrumb mixture and broil (or bake) until the breadcrumbs are browned. Grate a little Parmesan on top of each squash and serve.

Polka Dotted Dreams

I pulled the taffeta fabric out a few feet from its bolt and smiled. It was white, with sea-foam green circles of different sizes and shades floating on the fabric like bubbles on the surface of the ocean. "This one," I said to my mother, who was scanning a selection of fabrics a few feet away.

When she looked over, I wasn't sure what she was thinking, but I knew I had found the fabric for my prom dress. "It's polka dotted," she said. I could hear hesitation in her voice as she walked over to take a closer look.

"I know. Isn't it cool?" I lifted a piece of sea-foam green taffeta from a near-by bolt and said, "And this can be the accent fabric for the shoulder pieces and that one layer of the skirt." It matched the polka dots perfectly.

She held up the torn magazine page with the advertisement for the prom dress I was having made and placed it next to the polka-dotted taffeta. The bodice of the dress was fitted and had a slight drop waist. The skirt had three layers, the top two layers rising on the left side to a tastefully sized taffeta flower. The sleeves were off-the-shoulder poufs, reminiscent of swimming wings, but at the time seemed perfectly fashionable.

"I guess it might work. You're sure you want to do the polka dots?" She set the fabric down and started sauntering up and down the aisles again. "Maybe we should look around a little more before you decide. There are lots of colors and patterns here."

She tried to guide me toward something more reasonable. She suggested less bold and obvious choices, fabrics in more muted, solid shades. But I wouldn't have it. My prom fantasies were already floating among sea-foam polka dots. Nothing else would do.

---

This is my response to the prompt, Polka Dots, at Creativity Corner, a new series of creativity prompts at Write Out Loud. If you'd like to join in, write your own response to the prompt and then head over to Write Out Loud and leave a link in the Polka Dots comments.

Help Me Choose My Business Name

I've been tossing around names for my writing and editing business for a while now. You may have seen a few cries for feedback on Twitter over the last couple of months. I've finally narrowed things down to a few favorites and I'd like your help in deciding which one becomes my official moniker.

I'd like my business name to be creative (but not too quirky). I'm looking for a name that doesn't back me into a corner niche-wise, is not a play on words, has a timeless quality that can be carried with me as my business evolves, and lends itself to a variety of tag lines depending on my target audience.

Please vote for the business you might choose to work with if you were looking for professional writing and editing services.

But wait! What's in it for you?

I know your time is valuable, so I'd like to give you something for your time and effort. If you'll take an extra minute or two to do any of the following in addition to answering the survey below, you could win a $20 Starbucks Gift Card.

For a single chance to win, leave a comment on this post with: 1) the business name you chose, 2) your reason for choosing that name, and 3) any feelings or associations the name brings with it.

For a second chance to win, leave a second comment with any feelings or associations the other names bring with them and any specific reasons you may have for not choosing them.

For a third chance to win, Tweet this survey with the #smtwngrlbiz hashtag and leave a third comment indicating you did so along with your Twitter ID.

The survey will close on Friday, November 20th at midnight. A winner will be chosen on Saturday, November 21st by random comment selection using random.org. Remember to make sure your profile allows me to contact you via email or leave your email address in the body of your comments so that I can contact you if you win.

*Voting is now closed.*

The Making of a Diva

A couple of days ago, Jamie at Totally the Bomb created her "Diva list" (inspired by that commercial where Mariah Carey has a long list of demands for her hotel room). After reading Jamie's list, and in an attempt to inspire an increased NaNo word count, I decided to create one of my own. I don't normally consider myself much of a diva, but I suppose if I ever have the opportunity to be one, I should have my list at the ready.

1. Unlimited supply of dark chocolate covered espresso beans, preferably of a gourmet variety, but Trader Joe's brand will do in a pinch.

2. A masseuse at the ready to take care of any kinks, cricks or soreness...or to just relax me after a long day.

3. A personal yoga instructor to make sure I get my butt out of bed to practice poses right every morning.

4. A personal stylist to pick out (or purchase) the perfect outfit each morning and for any special events I might be required at.

5. Fresh flowers in every room. They don't need to be changed every day (that's wasteful), but the dying ones should be removed and replaced regularly.

6. Scented spa products, including bubble bath, shampoo, body wash and lotions, in a variety of fruity and flowery scents.

7. A manicurist and pedicurist at the ready for any nail- or open-toed-shoe/sandal- related emergency.

8. A sound system that I can hook my iPod up to for those impromptu dance party moments.

9. Plane tickets and accommodations so that all my friends and family can join me.

10. A personal hairstylist to be with me at all times to fix and stray hairs, waviness or frizz during unexpected moments of humidity.

I'm having a hard time even thinking like a Diva. Maybe with a little practice...

What would your Diva List look like?

A Horrible First Kiss

I was fourteen (almost fifteen) when I had my first real, and extremely bad, kiss.

My friend Abby* was spending the night and we had two of our guy friends over while my parents were out. There was music playing on the stereo, something totally pop and early ‘90s I’m sure. Abby and Randy were egging Allen on to dance with me, hold my hand, kiss me. Allen had recently become Abby’s ex-boyfriend and was Randy’s close friend. We all hung out together often.

Both Allen and Randy liked Abby and I liked both Allen and Randy, of course.

I can’t remember exactly how it went down, but in my memory Abby and Randy spent the entire evening trying to get Allen and me together. At one point, Allen and I were slow dancing to whatever was on the stereo, the two of us alone in the living room with the lights low. I draped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands on my lower back. A few inches taller than me, he bent his head down a bit so that our foreheads were pressed together as we swayed to the song. He said something that made me look up into his face, and when I did, he kissed me. Not a soft peck on the lips, but an open mouthed, almost violent kiss, his tongue stiff and thrusting in and out of my mouth like a lizard’s. I didn’t know what to do or how I was supposed to respond, so I closed my eyes and let him probe my mouth until he was finished. In the dark room, even with my eyes closed I couldn’t miss the flashes of a camera. We were caught on film for all the world to see. When we stopped kissing, we opened our eyes, smiled at each other and then yelled at Abby for taking our picture.

It didn’t take long before I discovered that Allen only kissed me because he thought it was what Abby wanted. He was trying to get back into her good graces so that she would date him again. I tried with all my might to make him like me the way he seemed to like her, but in the end, that kiss and the few that followed were gladly tossed into the recesses of my memory, replaced by much better kisses and, eventually, much more sincere boys.

*All names were changed to protect the innocent (and guilty).

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This is my response to the prompt, First Kiss, at Creativity Corner, a new series of creativity prompts at Write Out Loud. If you'd like to join in, write your own response to the prompt and then head over to Write Out Loud and leave a link in the First Kiss comments.

NaNoWriMo: I'm Doing it Again

At this time two years ago I was considering taking the leap into the world of NaNoWriMo. Eventually I decided to jump in, and came out the other side frazzled, wondering where November went, but almost 40,000 words closer to my first novel. I'm still working on that story, but this year I again found myself thinking about diving into a month of writing wildly.

I don't have a new novel idea yet, but I'm considering giving it a go anyway. If I can't come up with a fiction plot in the next four days, I might do an unofficial version of NaNo and either dedicate the month to finishing my first NaNovel or to working toward 50,000 words of the memoir I've been playing at for the last three years. Whatever I decide to do, you can be sure I'll keep you posted on my progress here.

Are any of you considering or planning to participate in NaNoWriMo? Do you have a solid plot prepared or are you planning to wing it?

Appreciating Me

It's Day 1 of Week 3 in my Gratitude Journey. The Gratitude Challenge for this week is to be grateful for who I am. As someone who holds herself to the highest standards and rarely feels she's good enough, this week will certainly be an interesting exercise in letting some crap go.

Today I'm supposed to "appreciate and give thanks for [my] unique personality, skills and talents." In some ways that is an easy task. I know what I am good at and I know that I have positive characteristics, that I am unique and talented. At the risk of sounding conceited, I know I'm smart, kind, compassionate and a good writer, among other things. But just writing that stuff down immediately triggers a long list of qualifications: sort of smart, usually kind, generally compassionate, pretty good writer. I start thinking I'm not as good a writer or as smart as so-and-so. I wasn't very compassionate the other day. Those things I thought about that stranger weren't very kind.

It's easy and common to judge myself harshly. It is real work, a rare occurrence, to allow myself to be grateful for all the things I am without worrying about all the things I am not. I'm going to try, though. Today I am going to pay attention to the things I like about myself, the things I can be proud of, the things that make me who I am. I'll leave the judgment and self-deprecation for another day.

What qualities and characteristics make you who you are? What talents and skills can you claim and be proud of--without wishing you were better at or more of something?

If you'd like to take The Gratitude Challenge, you can start any time. Just visit the website and sign your own pledge. You can also read more about what I'm grateful for by following my Gratitude Journey.

My Life Through Rose-Colored Glasses

I'm about half-way through Week 2 of my Gratitude Journey via The Gratitude Challenge, and this week's exercises have been focused on paying attention and staying positive--two things that most American's seem to have problems with. (And when I say most Americans I'm pointing directly at myself.)

While the exercises for the week weren't specifically written ones, I thought I'd take some time here to explore what I've been discovering as I practice being present and positive.

I'm really grateful to have all five of my senses. A few nights ago I was making dinner and I really paid attention to how my senses heightened the experience. There were the sounds: the sizzle of oil and the crackle of onions as I tossed them in; the rhythmic sound of the knife slicing through the vegetables and then hitting the cutting board. The smells were rich and tempting: onions, apple and curry, all earthy and sweet. The feel of the strength in my hands and arms, their repetitive movement as I chopped, stirred and tossed reminded me of all the things I can do because my body is healthy and whole. As I spooned the mixture into a bowl, the slightly varying shades of beige and yellow, shads that would normally blend together and seem dull, were bright and vibrant. And the taste--oh, the taste--how something so simple could combine to make a satisfying and nourishing meal amazed me.

Walks can be meditative, if I let them. Today, I used my lunch break to walk to the post office. It's a gorgeous day here in Maryland and I was pleasantly surprised by the warmth of the sun. The breeze was the perfect contrast, cooling me before I got too hot. I could smell the blossoms of fall foliage and the decay of early fallen leaves. The sensation of my feet hitting the sidewalk in time to the song I hummed made me smile.

Choosing to be present helps me to be positive. By paying attention to each moment, I'm learning that just as the positive moments pass, so do the negative ones. I don't have to be bogged down by negative feelings or frustrated by less enjoyable moments. Instead, I can experience them and let them pass, knowing that a new moment is already on its way.

It seems this week has me looking at my life through rose-colored glasses. Things won't always be happy or perfect or exciting, but somewhere amidst whatever I'm experiencing I now know that I can find a glimmer of gratitude to keep me going.

What sense experiences make you grateful? How can being more aware of these experiences help you live in a more positive way? If you'd like to take The Gratitude Challenge, you can start any time. Just visit the website and sign your own pledge. You can also read more about what I'm grateful for by following my Gratitude Journey.

In Recognition of My Internet Community

It's the beginning of Week 2 of my Gratitude Journey and today's Gratitude Challenge is to write 5 thank-you notes to people who deserve some recognition. While I'm not going to type out my notes here (I'm still not quite sure which people I'll be recognizing), I thought it might be a good time to write a thank-you note of sorts to my internet community.

The fact that I have been able to "meet" people that I truly connect with without ever seeing them face-to-face, or in most cases even talking to them, never fails to surprise me. And yet, there are at least a dozen wonderful human beings who have become important to me since I began reading blogs, and later, participating on Twitter. These people not only share their lives with me, but they talk to me about things we have in common, are willing to honestly and open-mindedly discuss the things we don't agree on, offer up amazing advice, and gladly accept and provide support whenever it's needed. They may not sit down across a table from me for coffee or chat with me everyday, but I'm proud to call them my internet friends.

I hope that one day I'll meet them all in person. Until then, we'll continue to "tweet" one another, read and comment on each other's blogs and exchange emails or phone calls. If I could have these people around the corner, I'd certainly choose that. But just having them at all is a blessing I'm truly grateful for.

What thing, person, place or moment makes you most grateful today? If you'd like to take The Gratitude Challenge, you can start any time. Just visit the website and sign your own pledge. You can also read more about what I'm grateful for by following my Gratitude Journey.

A Picture of Gratitude

Yesterday's assignment for The Gratitude Challenge was to call someone I hadn't talked to in a while and tell that person how much I appreciated her. It didn't take long for me to decide who I would call and what I would say. I'll keep the details between me and her, but suffice it to say that when she didn't answer and I had to leave a message I was actually happy. Knowing that she would listen to my voice after a harried day trying to run a family and a business, I was almost giddy with joy. My voice and the appreciation I expressed would hopefully be a wonderful ending to a stressful day.

Since the assignment for yesterday didn't really involve writing anything down, I hadn't planned to blog about it at all, but then I saw today's assignment and realized the story was connected to what I've chosen to share today. It's a picture of two things that I'm truly grateful for: my cell phone and my computer.

Without these two objects that I generally take for granted, I would be disconnected from so many of my family and friends. That woman I called yesterday? We're lucky to see each other and talk in person twice a year. But with my cell phone and my computer we can get in touch with one another at a moment's notice. I can reach out to my friends in Arizona, Kentucky, Louisiana, Minnesota, California, or New York. I can hear my mother's voice every day if I want to. I can send my sister an encouraging email as soon as I hear she's feeling down.

Sure, without my cell phone and computer I'd still have paper and pens and envelopes and stamps, but I would have the tender voices of friends and family when I most need them. I wouldn't have their near-instant emailed (or Tweeted) responses to my questions and concerns. I'd be lost and lonely without those two pieces of technology...and I don't even want to imagine what that would feel like.

What thing, person, place or moment makes you most grateful today? If you'd like to take The Gratitude Challenge, you can start any time. Just visit the website and sign your own pledge. You can also read more about what I'm grateful for by following my Gratitude Journey.

Counting My Blessings

I wouldn't consider myself a negative person. In fact, I tend to be the optimist in the room. I generally try to see the bright side of a situation, almost always give a person the benefit of the doubt. That doesn't mean I don't have negative days or get discouraged when disappointing things happen around me. And while I'm pretty easy on other people, I am almost always VERY hard on myself.

Today's Gratitude Challenge exercise is to count my blessings, to take five minutes and focus on all the wonderful things in my life. I'm doing this stream-of-consciousness style because I believe that one tiny mustard seed of gratitude can build a mountain of thankfulness.

I'm grateful for a mother who has been wonderful to me all my life, for a family who supports me, for friends who surround me with love even from hundreds of miles away.

I am grateful for the opportunities I have had to travel near and far, to see people and places I'd never seen before and experience cultures that were new to me.

I am grateful for my education, both in the classroom and in the world.

I am grateful for the ability and opportunity to read until my heart is content and to learn from the words and stories of others.

I am grateful for my desire to tell my own stories, for my love of words and the ability to weave them into sentences, paragraphs and pages that will eventually (hopefully) convey meaning to others.

I am grateful for a community of writers, both in person and online, that inspires me, encourages me and teaches me every day.

I am grateful for a job that allows me to both pay my bills and do what I love.

I am grateful for opportunities to expand my abilities and skills and to use those abilities and skills to help myself and others grow.

I am grateful for my home and the things in it.

I am grateful for the compassion I feel toward others and my desire and ability to act on it in the best ways I can.

I am grateful for my spiritual development and the life I have.

I am grateful for every breath I have taken and every moment I have lived.

I am grateful for the nature and beauty I am surrounded by.

I am grateful for trees and sun and warmth and cool breezes and freshly cut grass and fallen leaves and the first snowflakes of the season--not only for the experiences of them, but for the memories of them.

I am grateful for life.

What are you grateful for today? If you'd like to take The Gratitude Challenge, you can start any time. Just visit the website and sign your own pledge. You can also read more about what I'm grateful for by following my Gratitude Journey.