Cutting Up

Last weekend I was flipping channels and got caught up in an infomercial for these. I've seen it before. And everytime I watch I think, "Man, I could use those." I mean, it's a set of 11 stainless steel knives that can cut through leather, that can saw through dry wall, that don't dull or break. At least that's what they say in the infomercial. And they're only $30! That's a great deal, right? But alas, I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone and call, because these days that $30 is better spent elsewhere. Like on groceries, or a gallon of paint. I'd just have to suffer it out with the knives I've been using for years, that can barely cut through warm butter, but do the job just the same.

Imagine my joy when my step-sister handed me two belated birthday boxes filled with not only the 11 Miracle Blade III knives, but also an extra set of the steak knives and the butcher block to display them all in, standing tall and proud and sharp and brand new on my countertop. I haven't tested them out on flying pineapples or leather shoes, but they sure worked well on potatoes and onions when I was making dinner tonight. I used the "Rock 'n Chop" to cut me some french fries and slice me some onions. And the steak knives worked wonders on fresh strawberries. No crushed, mushed berries, just even, round slices. I can't wait to use the "Chop 'n Scoop" on some fresh parsley, or the "Slicer" on a fresh loaf of bread. We'll see if these things are really as sharp and useful as the infomercial says they are. They're definitely going to get their workout from me, that's for sure. I might even buy a pineapple and have My Love throw it at me to see if the slicer can slide right through it or if that's just the magic of TV. Either way, they work much better than the my pre-Miracle collection.

And what about those old knives that are in my drawer right now? What should I do with them? I'd hate to give them to someone else knowing they're only good for sawing through cooked cabbage. I'm thinking they'd make a nice set of wind chimes, or a beautiful piece of industrial art.