Appreciating Me

It's Day 1 of Week 3 in my Gratitude Journey. The Gratitude Challenge for this week is to be grateful for who I am. As someone who holds herself to the highest standards and rarely feels she's good enough, this week will certainly be an interesting exercise in letting some crap go.

Today I'm supposed to "appreciate and give thanks for [my] unique personality, skills and talents." In some ways that is an easy task. I know what I am good at and I know that I have positive characteristics, that I am unique and talented. At the risk of sounding conceited, I know I'm smart, kind, compassionate and a good writer, among other things. But just writing that stuff down immediately triggers a long list of qualifications: sort of smart, usually kind, generally compassionate, pretty good writer. I start thinking I'm not as good a writer or as smart as so-and-so. I wasn't very compassionate the other day. Those things I thought about that stranger weren't very kind.

It's easy and common to judge myself harshly. It is real work, a rare occurrence, to allow myself to be grateful for all the things I am without worrying about all the things I am not. I'm going to try, though. Today I am going to pay attention to the things I like about myself, the things I can be proud of, the things that make me who I am. I'll leave the judgment and self-deprecation for another day.

What qualities and characteristics make you who you are? What talents and skills can you claim and be proud of--without wishing you were better at or more of something?

If you'd like to take The Gratitude Challenge, you can start any time. Just visit the website and sign your own pledge. You can also read more about what I'm grateful for by following my Gratitude Journey.

My Life Through Rose-Colored Glasses

I'm about half-way through Week 2 of my Gratitude Journey via The Gratitude Challenge, and this week's exercises have been focused on paying attention and staying positive--two things that most American's seem to have problems with. (And when I say most Americans I'm pointing directly at myself.)

While the exercises for the week weren't specifically written ones, I thought I'd take some time here to explore what I've been discovering as I practice being present and positive.

I'm really grateful to have all five of my senses. A few nights ago I was making dinner and I really paid attention to how my senses heightened the experience. There were the sounds: the sizzle of oil and the crackle of onions as I tossed them in; the rhythmic sound of the knife slicing through the vegetables and then hitting the cutting board. The smells were rich and tempting: onions, apple and curry, all earthy and sweet. The feel of the strength in my hands and arms, their repetitive movement as I chopped, stirred and tossed reminded me of all the things I can do because my body is healthy and whole. As I spooned the mixture into a bowl, the slightly varying shades of beige and yellow, shads that would normally blend together and seem dull, were bright and vibrant. And the taste--oh, the taste--how something so simple could combine to make a satisfying and nourishing meal amazed me.

Walks can be meditative, if I let them. Today, I used my lunch break to walk to the post office. It's a gorgeous day here in Maryland and I was pleasantly surprised by the warmth of the sun. The breeze was the perfect contrast, cooling me before I got too hot. I could smell the blossoms of fall foliage and the decay of early fallen leaves. The sensation of my feet hitting the sidewalk in time to the song I hummed made me smile.

Choosing to be present helps me to be positive. By paying attention to each moment, I'm learning that just as the positive moments pass, so do the negative ones. I don't have to be bogged down by negative feelings or frustrated by less enjoyable moments. Instead, I can experience them and let them pass, knowing that a new moment is already on its way.

It seems this week has me looking at my life through rose-colored glasses. Things won't always be happy or perfect or exciting, but somewhere amidst whatever I'm experiencing I now know that I can find a glimmer of gratitude to keep me going.

What sense experiences make you grateful? How can being more aware of these experiences help you live in a more positive way? If you'd like to take The Gratitude Challenge, you can start any time. Just visit the website and sign your own pledge. You can also read more about what I'm grateful for by following my Gratitude Journey.

In Recognition of My Internet Community

It's the beginning of Week 2 of my Gratitude Journey and today's Gratitude Challenge is to write 5 thank-you notes to people who deserve some recognition. While I'm not going to type out my notes here (I'm still not quite sure which people I'll be recognizing), I thought it might be a good time to write a thank-you note of sorts to my internet community.

The fact that I have been able to "meet" people that I truly connect with without ever seeing them face-to-face, or in most cases even talking to them, never fails to surprise me. And yet, there are at least a dozen wonderful human beings who have become important to me since I began reading blogs, and later, participating on Twitter. These people not only share their lives with me, but they talk to me about things we have in common, are willing to honestly and open-mindedly discuss the things we don't agree on, offer up amazing advice, and gladly accept and provide support whenever it's needed. They may not sit down across a table from me for coffee or chat with me everyday, but I'm proud to call them my internet friends.

I hope that one day I'll meet them all in person. Until then, we'll continue to "tweet" one another, read and comment on each other's blogs and exchange emails or phone calls. If I could have these people around the corner, I'd certainly choose that. But just having them at all is a blessing I'm truly grateful for.

What thing, person, place or moment makes you most grateful today? If you'd like to take The Gratitude Challenge, you can start any time. Just visit the website and sign your own pledge. You can also read more about what I'm grateful for by following my Gratitude Journey.

A Picture of Gratitude

Yesterday's assignment for The Gratitude Challenge was to call someone I hadn't talked to in a while and tell that person how much I appreciated her. It didn't take long for me to decide who I would call and what I would say. I'll keep the details between me and her, but suffice it to say that when she didn't answer and I had to leave a message I was actually happy. Knowing that she would listen to my voice after a harried day trying to run a family and a business, I was almost giddy with joy. My voice and the appreciation I expressed would hopefully be a wonderful ending to a stressful day.

Since the assignment for yesterday didn't really involve writing anything down, I hadn't planned to blog about it at all, but then I saw today's assignment and realized the story was connected to what I've chosen to share today. It's a picture of two things that I'm truly grateful for: my cell phone and my computer.

Without these two objects that I generally take for granted, I would be disconnected from so many of my family and friends. That woman I called yesterday? We're lucky to see each other and talk in person twice a year. But with my cell phone and my computer we can get in touch with one another at a moment's notice. I can reach out to my friends in Arizona, Kentucky, Louisiana, Minnesota, California, or New York. I can hear my mother's voice every day if I want to. I can send my sister an encouraging email as soon as I hear she's feeling down.

Sure, without my cell phone and computer I'd still have paper and pens and envelopes and stamps, but I would have the tender voices of friends and family when I most need them. I wouldn't have their near-instant emailed (or Tweeted) responses to my questions and concerns. I'd be lost and lonely without those two pieces of technology...and I don't even want to imagine what that would feel like.

What thing, person, place or moment makes you most grateful today? If you'd like to take The Gratitude Challenge, you can start any time. Just visit the website and sign your own pledge. You can also read more about what I'm grateful for by following my Gratitude Journey.

Counting My Blessings

I wouldn't consider myself a negative person. In fact, I tend to be the optimist in the room. I generally try to see the bright side of a situation, almost always give a person the benefit of the doubt. That doesn't mean I don't have negative days or get discouraged when disappointing things happen around me. And while I'm pretty easy on other people, I am almost always VERY hard on myself.

Today's Gratitude Challenge exercise is to count my blessings, to take five minutes and focus on all the wonderful things in my life. I'm doing this stream-of-consciousness style because I believe that one tiny mustard seed of gratitude can build a mountain of thankfulness.

I'm grateful for a mother who has been wonderful to me all my life, for a family who supports me, for friends who surround me with love even from hundreds of miles away.

I am grateful for the opportunities I have had to travel near and far, to see people and places I'd never seen before and experience cultures that were new to me.

I am grateful for my education, both in the classroom and in the world.

I am grateful for the ability and opportunity to read until my heart is content and to learn from the words and stories of others.

I am grateful for my desire to tell my own stories, for my love of words and the ability to weave them into sentences, paragraphs and pages that will eventually (hopefully) convey meaning to others.

I am grateful for a community of writers, both in person and online, that inspires me, encourages me and teaches me every day.

I am grateful for a job that allows me to both pay my bills and do what I love.

I am grateful for opportunities to expand my abilities and skills and to use those abilities and skills to help myself and others grow.

I am grateful for my home and the things in it.

I am grateful for the compassion I feel toward others and my desire and ability to act on it in the best ways I can.

I am grateful for my spiritual development and the life I have.

I am grateful for every breath I have taken and every moment I have lived.

I am grateful for the nature and beauty I am surrounded by.

I am grateful for trees and sun and warmth and cool breezes and freshly cut grass and fallen leaves and the first snowflakes of the season--not only for the experiences of them, but for the memories of them.

I am grateful for life.

What are you grateful for today? If you'd like to take The Gratitude Challenge, you can start any time. Just visit the website and sign your own pledge. You can also read more about what I'm grateful for by following my Gratitude Journey.

Bad Isn't Always Bad

As part of The Gratitude Challenge, today I'm supposed to write a thank-you note for some of the "negative" things in my life. It's not easy to look at the things I consider bad or disappointing or negative and say, "Hey thanks, Universe, I'm really grateful for that crap you've been sending me lately." The more I think about it, though, the more I know there is a positive spin to all that stuff I've been resisting. It may not be obvious and it may not take away all the troubles of the negatives, but it certainly makes them more bearable.

Dear Universe,

Thanks for all the family drama. There's certainly been a lot of it. Of most recent note was that family spat last week that had my stomach tied up in knots. The conflict wasn't exactly a blessing, but in the midst of it I realized how grateful I am to still have a father, to be able to talk to him every week and tell him I love him. I recognized that despite the strain among members of my family and the problems that broken homes can cause, I have love and support almost everywhere I turn. It may not come from the people I expect, and it may not be the result of blood ties, but it is there and it buoys me every day.

Thanks, too, for helping me step out of my comfort zone and walk the spiritual path that is right for me. Having been part of a particular group and then losing that integral connection in my life, I've been carrying around hurt and anger for quite some time. But in a conversation with a friend over the weekend, I also realized that I'm grateful for those broken ties and rejections of the past, as well as for the connections that remain despite what I like to call "the break-up". I'm healing and I'm finding that I'm stronger and more courageous for having lost that community. I wish it hadn't been that way...I wish I hadn't had to let go of that part of my life. But in the end, I was able to hold onto those things that I strongly believe in and let the conflict and doubt dissipate. It's not easy to turn away from something that has been ingrained into my being for so long, but having to defend my position and stand firm in my beliefs has strengthened them (and me) in a way that I never could have imagined possible.

Thanks, Universe, for showing me the way and helping me to see things from new vantage points. Sometimes life is hard, sometimes things suck, but in the end I will find meaning and purpose in all of it--even if it's only a tiny glimmer of hope.

Gratitude ABCs

Today's gratitude assignment, compliments of The Gratitude Challenge, is to make a list of things I'm grateful for using the letters of the alphabet as my prompt.

I am grateful for:

A - Autumn and the apples that come with it, straight from the tree
B - Books of all kinds, ones that make me think, inspire me, or just plain entertain
C - Chocolate of course...the dark creamy kind that melts slowly in your mouth
D - Dreams and the chance to chase them
E - Exciting opportunities and open doors for new experiences
F - Friends that support and love me no matter what idiotic things I do or say
G - Giggles and uncontrollable laughter
H - Hugs at the exact moment when I need them; health and happiness
I - Ice cream on a hot summer day; individuality; independence
J - Just enough of everything I need
K - Kisses that make me weak in the knees
L - Love in all its shapes and forms
M - My Mom, whose love and strength I can only hope to emulate
N - Nature and the chance to spend time enjoying it
O - Organic farmers and the food they produce
P - Pretty things
Q - Quiet time
R - Respect (given and received)
S - Sister that put up with my big-sister-stuff for all those years and still trusts me
T - Travel to places I've never been before, as well as to places I know and love
U - Unexpected blessings
V - Vitamins and vegetables
W - Words and the opportunity to use them, shape them and make them my own
X - X-tended vacations
Y - Yeses
Z - Zest for life

This wasn't easy--especially X, Y and Z. But it was fun and really forced me to consider all the big and little things that I'm grateful for. What are your ABCs of gratitude?