Sunday Scribblings: Smart Gut

Prompt #71: Decision

I'm a control freak. I like to plan. I need to know what will happen next, so I analyze and re-analyze all of my options. When opportunities present themselves, I'm not generally one to jump in with both feet and start paddling. I'm more of a toe-dipper. I like to test the waters, feel for the temperature, lick my finger and gauge the wind, before I decide if I should take the plunge.

This hesitancy to act, my desire to consider all the possibilities and make the right decision based on informed and thoughtful deliberation, has held me back from a number of experiences in my lifetime. When I realize this has happened, I slowly and methodically work my way back to the place I believe I was meant to be. But I do it on my terms, in my own time. I make my plan and I forge forward. I'm not one to do things on a whim. I test the fates and spit in the face of destiny. Destiny who? I make my own destiny.

But I wish I were two-feet jumper. I wish I could see an open door and walk through it without a moment's hesitation. I wish I could make a decision and stand confident in my choice. I wish I could see opportunity and jump on its back, riding it like a dolphin into the sunset. I want to trust my instincts, but I'm not sure I even know what an instinct is. So I've been testing the waters of my gut.

Doing a little innocent job searching, just to see what was out there, I came across a few positions that sounded promising and decided to take a chance. I sent off my resume and cover letter and then let it go. When an email requesting an interview landed in my inbox about a month later, I decided to call the number and set a date. I had my suit cleaned and I put on my best face. With nothing to lose, no need for a new job and no pressure to do well, I decided to relax and let my personality shine through. I answered questions with confidence and looked my interrogators in the eyes. And when I didn't hear from them for a week and a half, I decided to followed up. I made certain these people knew who I was. Even if I didn't get the job, I made the decision to give the Universe every opportunity to bring something new and challenging into my life.

I'll be starting my new job tomorrow, all because I chose to decide instead of sitting back and letting opportunities pass me by. It turns out my gut's a lot smarter than I give it credit for.